1) HOW TO SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MANSINEMA?
Hold on for one moment,
Most people go to therapy to discover how their parents have fucked them up but not me. I go to therapy to vent about how truly misguided and annoying Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema are. Let’s start with Manchin, who has made President Biden remove two years of free community college from the plan and, based off reports, the Clean Electricity Program Performance program that, combined with clean energy tax credits, would have accounted for nearly half of Biden’s 2030 emissions reduction targets. Manchin will also have his way by limiting Biden’s incredibly popular child tax credit because apparently his houseboat is soundproof and he can’t hear the cries of hungry children. You may wonder how Joe Manchin sleeps at night, but we all know it’s on a bed made from the millions of dollars he gets from fossil fuel companies and dividends from the coal company he used to own.
Not only are Manchin’s motives politically stupid, but they also hurt his precious West Virginia. West Virginia is the second poorest state in the nation with a low education rate and a population that’s 93% white, so you know that no one there can dance either. The Niskanen Center estimates that 200,000 West Virginian children would be deprived of the child tax credit benefit with the cuts and changes Manchin wants to make, which would also take $250,000,000 out of the state’s economy. Also, according to the First Street Foundation, West Virginia has the worst exposure to flood damage in the country. With extreme weather, like intense rainfall, becoming more frequent due to climate change, should we, I don’t know, try to stop the Earth from warming so people don’t die?!
I lost all the hair on the right side of my head when a Mother Jones report came out that said Manchin was considering leaving the Democratic party to become an “American Independent.” He then called the report “bullshit,” but later admitted that he offered (really threatened) Democratic leadership to become an independent, who would still caucus with the Democrats, if they viewed him as an embarrassment. Long story short, Joe Manchin is better at staying relevant than a Real Housewife who is about to go to jail.
Continuing the Real Housewives metaphor, we’re dealing with a NeNe Leakes vs. Kim Zolciak situation here with the ongoing feud between Joe Manchin and Bernie Sanders. Do I think it’s helpful for senators to fight in public, further muddying the process? No, but I love drama! After a few press conferences and an op-ed from Bernie in a West Virginian paper, the two senators, who lie on the opposite sides of the Democratic spectrum, fought in a private Democratic caucus meeting. Bernie, apparently, made the case for how we should really be spending $6 trillion to save the planet and invest in working people, while Manchin, the millionaire, said, "I'm comfortable with zero." I’ll let you decide who’s the villain in this scenario.
Fresh off her European trip, like a recent college grad who needs to discover herself, Kyrsten Sinema is back in D.C. and ruining everything. Unlike Joe Manchin, Sinema doesn’t have any clear basis for her political ideology, which apparently is “annoy everyone and have no friends.” Though she has reversed her position on Biden’s popular (across party lines) plan to raise taxes on the wealthy and corporations, she is still against allowing Medicare to negotiate costs of prescription drugs, which is popular and cost effective. Her approval rating amongst Democrats in Arizona has tanked and five veterans resigned from her advisory board in a statement that said, “You have become one of the principal obstacles to progress, answering to big donors rather than your own people.” It’s looking like Sinema will need a new job soon because there’s no way she’ll win reelection in -- oh and she just secured a multi-million dollar job as a lobbyist. I’m joking but you know it’ll happen.
So where does the Build Back Better bill stand? President Biden told Democrats earlier this week that he is now aiming for a bill that costs between $1.75 trillion and $1.9 trillion. Progressives are going along with this change because most of their top priorities, like Medicare expansion; universal pre-k, climate reform; paid family leave; and other social programs are still in the bill but reduced. As I have explained before, the cost of the bill will be paid for with some sort of changes in the tax system that Kyrsten Sinema agrees to after her daily wine tasting. This week, the Senate appropriations bill revealed that the Pentagon will get $725.8 billion this year! So that’s $725.8 billion for a military that is not fighting any wars and MAYBE $190 billion a year for Earth and the American people.
In a CNN town hall, President Biden made the case for his agenda, arguing that the bi-partisan infrastructure deal and the Build Back Better agenda will be a “bigger (fucking) deal” than the Affordable Care Act. He also added that the bills would reduce inflation and not add a penny to the national debt. He promised that he will work to lower the cost of education through Pell Grants and will try to get free community college during his term. I’m not stessed! You’re the stressed one! I’m calm!
2) WHY IS HE STILL HERE?
The man behind the “Steele Dossier,” former British spy Christopher Steele, defended the contents of the report in an ABC News interview. I’m not going to go into a long rant how it is an undisputed fact that Russian interfered in the 2016 election to help Trump, that the Trump campaign gave voter information to Russian agents, and that Hillary Clinton is the rightful 45th president of the United States, but I will mention that Steele believes the pee tape probably exists! This explains why Trump has been overheard, very recently, telling GOP donors that he doesn’t like golden showers. In the words of Shakespeare, “[the orange man] doth protests too much, methinks.”
The dumbest criminal operation in the country, the Trump Organization, is now under a new, and third from a New York prosecutor’s office, criminal investigation. The Westchester, NY, district attorney’s office is looking at whether the Trump Organization lied about the property value of the Trump National Golf Club Westchester in order to get a break on taxes. I have never been more sure of someone’s guilt.
In a completely unhinged statement, Trump blasted Meghan McCain for comments she made on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen and in her new book. This is one of those fights when I can confidently say I am on no one’s side.
The House voted to hold Steve Bannon in criminal contempt of Congress for defying a subpoena. Now, the Justice Department will decide if Bannon will face consequences and if so, Bannon can then defend himself in court which would result in a long legal battle into next year and so yeah the moral of the story is that nothing matters and bad people don’t suffer consequences.
Trump has been telling people that he will run for president again in 2024. Unless he is in prison or dead, Trump being the GOP nominee in 2024 is inevitable. As I have said in an earlier newsletter, the Republican Party is beyond redemption. Anyways, Trump’s top competitors right now are Mike Pompeo, former secretary of state who turned the state department into a luxury concierge service for his family, and Ron DeSantis, the governor of Florida who is basically pro-COVID. Both of them will step aside for Trump, but not Mike Pence who, according to Axios, “has no plans to defer to his former boss.” So the human embodiment of watching paint dry thinks he can beat Trump in a Republican primary? The guy whose most famous act as vice president was a fly landing on him?
Because irony died a painful and merciless death, the man who told over 30,000 lies in office is starting a new social media app called TRUTH. The social media site is supposed to be a way to combat the “censorship” of Big Tech, but the site will ban any content that would “disparage, tarnish, or otherwise harm, in our opinion, us and/or the Site.” So basically, if you’re a Nazi who wants to vent about the Jews, go ahead! But if you’re a comedian who jokes about Trump’s enormous ass then you will be silenced! Got it!
The site will be owned by Trump Media & Technology Group, a new company that will also launch a streaming service called TMTG+ to compete, according to the press release, with Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+. With Squid Game being Netflix’s most successful show, I am scared what TMTG+’s version will be. Probably a reality show where doctors and nurses have to compete to the death for their “FREEDOM.”
Based on trademarks, posting on the site will be called “truthing” or a “retruth.” Well, this what happens when you discriminate against LGBTQ people because that is the least creative shit I have ever heard.
Within hours of launching the beta site, someone posted a picture of a pig pooping to the “donaldjtrump” account. Honestly, that doesn't seem that far off from something Trump would actually post. Of course, the new Trump endeavor ripped someone off and broke some rules! Apparently, the Trump network is based on Mastodon, an open-source social networking software, but violated the terms of use of the software by not making a copy of the general product license available to users. I don’t really understand, I’m just mad Trump won’t go away.
3) WE’LL SURVIVE COVID BUT I’M NOT SURE ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE!
A report from CDC showed that unvaccinated people are six times more likely to test positive for COVID and are 11 times more likely to die from the virus, but yeah that “doctor” on TikTok made some good points about how the vaccine makes a person magnetic.
The FDA just made every indecisive person’s worst nightmare come true by allowing people to “mix and match” vaccine booster shots. When I am eligible for a booster, I will be sticking with Moderna because I am loyal! I’m still defending Erika Jayne even though she’s become a Disney villain in a prom dress.
In that same CNN town hall, President Biden stated, “the existential threat to humanity is climate change." That is not an understatement according to an assessment by all 18 elements of the U.S. intelligence agency that warns the climate crisis is a huge risk to global security as countries argue how to address climate change, people migrate due to unlivable conditions, and resources, like water, are depleted. At least we won’t have a shortage of alcohol and we can blackout during the fire tornadoes?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever drank tap water? Oh, is that everyone. Okay, yeah we probably all have chemicals in your bloodstream. Yay? The EPA will finally implement new national drinking water standards for PFOA and PFOS, two classes of PFAS. According to the EPA’s website, “PFAS are widely used, long lasting chemicals, components of which break down very slowly over time.”
According to a new study published by the UN Environmental Program (UNEP), the production of fossil fuels must be cut by more than half by 2030 to meet the less than 1.5-degree Celsius temperature rise by 2100 to prevent our children from living in Mad Max: Fury Road. Unfortunately, the world’s fossil fuel industry is doing the opposite with countries investing more into fossil fuels and not living up to the Paris Agreement.
Nations all over the world need to make the necessary changes to cut fossil fuel admissions and help developing countries continue to grow without depending on fossil fuels. As I wrote earlier, a significant part of Biden’s agenda is combating climate change. He sees, like the vast majority of Americans see, that our time of ignoring the crisis is over. According to Representative Ro Khanna, the President told a group of Democrats that “the prestige of the United States is on the line." Biden is heading to Europe for the United Nations Climate Summit soon and if he is not able to brag about what the United States is doing to cut emissions then he will not be able to lead the world in fighting this crisis. Biden has been stressing to Democrats, in particular Joe Manchin, that inaction from the United States will only weaken America’s case that democracy is the best, most productive form of government and enable China to step in as the world’s ultimate superpower. We are out of time.
4) HERE’S SOME MORE NEWS!
The filibuster strikes again! Senate Republicans blocked a vote to open debate on the Freedom to Vote Act, the compromise voting-rights bill that Joe Manchin crafted. What do you call a democracy that has two political parties, but one political party literally won’t even debate a bill that makes it easier to vote? Well, that’s the system we actually live in now. The only way we will save our democracy is by abolishing or reforming the filibuster and, fortunately, President Biden is starting to publicly agree.
In what may be the worst way to celebrate a birthday ever, Vice President Harris presided over that filibuster, but Pop Pop made it a special one too. Also this week, our MVP and Labor Secretary Marty Walsh announced new guidelines to encourage federal workers to join unions and promote the federal workforce as a way for women and workers of color to join the labor movement.
A human patient received a kidney transplant at NYU Langone Health. Oh, I’m sorry I forgot the part that makes this “news.” The kidney originally was in a pig. This is apparently a scientific breakthrough…
Trans employees of Netflix protested the company’s response to criticism around Dave Chapelle’s transphobic comments with a walkout. Dave Chapelle needs to stop working through his transphobia through lucrative “comedy” specials and Netflix needs to air more actually funny specials from trans comedians. Look, I solved it!
For the first time, Barbados elected a president and is preparing to cut ties with Queen Elizabeth II. Everyone at The Lukist is sending our thoughts and prayers to the British Royal family for losing another colony.
Apparently, Columbus was not even the first person to “discover” the New World. Yeah, scientists have determined that a Viking settlement in Canada was occupied 471 years before Columbus’ voyage. Okay, well this further proves why this racist murderer doesn’t deserve a holiday! Not only was he bad at direction, but he wasn’t even first! Papa John is a more worthy Italian to be celebrating than Columbus.
Both Democratic and Republican members of Congress believe Amazon executives, including amateur astronaut Jeff Bezos, lied when they testified that Amazon uses seller information to make knock-off products to then drive the original creators out of business. Are you telling me that guy who is worth a trillion dollars and literally looks like Dr. Evil lied?!?!? I cannot believe it!
According to polls, the Virginia gubernatorial race is way too close, so please go volunteer or donate some money to prevent a Trump-like Republican from winning. Go to https://votesaveamerica.com/state/virginia/. I don’t need it to be harder to be in Virginia when I spend that hour in Reagan National Airport.
Paris Hilton went to Washington to show support for the Accountability for Congregate Care Act, which would create a bill of rights to protect teens who are in congregate care facilities. At least, we still live in a country where celebrities can put on their pantsuits and lobby for bills. Let’s not lose this democracy we love so much!
5) READ MORE!
NY Times: Colin Powell, Who Shaped U.S. National Security, Dies at 84
The Atlantic: Why Cars Don’t Deserve the Right of Way
NY Times: This Powerful Democrat Linked to Fossil Fuels Will Craft the U.S. Climate Plan
NY Times: Opinion: The Unvaccinated May Not Be Who You Think
The Atlantic: A SECRETIVE HEDGE FUND IS GUTTING NEWSROOMS
New Yorker: Edie Falco Knows How to Let Go
The Atlantic: We Accidentally Solved the Flu. Now What?